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When couples marry, it's usually with the intention of remaining lifelong lovers and partners.

But we all know that this ambition isn’t always realized.

"If you aren't into it, it's your responsibility to understand why.

It might be physiological or emotional, but addressing the problem shows you care." Talk to your doctor about revving your sex drive.

A one-sided effort can't improve a problem-plagued marriage. "If one is gun-shy, or not on the same page emotionally, there will be disconnection." Recognize if you're alone in keeping the marriage afloat and seek a pro's help in getting your hubby on board to repair what needs work. Assumptions breed hostility, says marriage therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of Be The Smart

"Instead of creating a dialogue with your spouse, you're writing the script in your head," she says.

Every time you catch yourself assuming, Goldstein suggests a quick check-in.

Start by sharing your concerns with your husband, and then ask for the real deal.

"You're not watering the garden, so to speak," Goldstein says.Focus on your spouse's top attributes, which likely outnumber old what's-his-name's, and communicate problems instead of making comparisons.Maybe your exes mistreated you, and you're just waiting for your spouse to do the same thing.If you're feeling like your husband is merely a roommate, ask yourself, "Why are you avoiding him? If you're not sure, consult a therapist to work toward fixing the issue.that I must inform you that happily ever after is a fairy tale. Sometimes, it’s because there’s an unforgivable betrayal like infidelity, or a partner becomes abusive and the relationship turns destructive, or as clichéd as it sounds—people often grow apart.

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